The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.
The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
The only reason why God created man is because he was disappointed with the monkey.
The lottery is a government institution and the poor its best patrons.
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
The heart is the real fountain of youth.
The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it…
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection – that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.
Only one thing is impossible for God: to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel.
He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.