Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
It is wrong to put a sheepskin under your shirt when you know that you are going to get a licking. It is better to retire swiftly to a secret place and weep over your bad conduct until the storm blows over.
It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
It is good to obey all the rules when you’re young, so you’ll have the strength to break them when you’re old.
If we would learn what the human race really is, at bottom, we need only observe it in election times.
Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.
Happiness ain’t a thing in itself – it’s only a contrast with something that ain’t pleasant.
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it.
For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment.
