My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.
It is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible.
If somebody says, “I love you,” to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol-holder requires? “I love you, too.”
If more Africans had eaten more missionaries, the Continent would be in better shape.
I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.
Gentlemen who have no sense of humour get to taking themselves too seriously – and that leads to mischief.
Every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies.
A sadist with a sense of humor was particularly dangerous.