Everyone wants people they like to be right. That’s why popular people are f***ing dumb.
Dreams move one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It’s like “Inception,” Morty, so if it’s confusing and stupid, then so is everyone’s favorite movie.
You’re still learning English? That’s the language you speak. How dumb are you?[to Morty]
You don’t love people in hopes of a reward, you love them unconditionally.[to Jerry]
You and Unity are like leggings and mid-calf boots. You think you’re great together, but you’re just bringing out the worst in each other.[to Rick]
Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die.[to Summer]
Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week. I end up getting high with half of them.
Living without consequences is great, but then I started wondering, what am I living for? What am I building? If I’m always looking back, I’m never looking ahead. And then it hit me. We are who we are because of consequences.
Kids, breakfast and school. If we don’t at least pretend they matter, everything falls apart.
If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, it had better be because of his own disillusionment.[to Rick]
If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that before you get anywhere in life, you got to stop listening to yourself.
I hate every country in the universe, brother! They’re job placement programs for the politicians that invent them.