Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone.
If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t. Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.
If there was less sympathy in the world there would be less trouble in the world.
If one plays good music, people don’t listen, and if one plays bad music people don’t talk.
If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilised.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
I can’t help detesting my relations. I suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves.
I can resist everything except temptation.
I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly; but I don’t see any chance of it just at present.
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.[The Remarkable Rocket]
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, History would have been different.
