I almost pity him. He didn’t choose to be put on my platter. When I carve him up and toss him to the dogs, only then will he confront that brutal, inescapable truth.
Every Tuesday I sit down with the speaker and the majority leader to discuss the week’s agenda. Well, discuss is probably the wrong word. They talk while I sit quietly and imagine their lightly salted faces frying in a skillet.
Do you know the main thing that separates a politician from the rest of the species? A politician is the one who would drown a litter of kittens for ten minutes of prime time.
A little sibling rivalry isn’t such a bad thing, especially between adopted boys. They either push each other to be the best versions of themselves, or one of them gets booted back to the orphanage.