You are such a f*****g hypocrite. If you were being honest, you would say, “Hi, my name is Earl, and I killed two people last night.”
You always want to invest in things people can’t do without. Water and cemeteries… pretty safe bets.
Don’t worry. If I were here to kill you, you would already be dead. After you left today, I realized that our friendship was a little one-sided.