The trouble with being educated is that it takes a long time; it uses up the better part of your life and when you are finished what you know is that you would have benefited more by going into banking.
That’s one of the ironies of life, doing the wrong thing at the right moment.
Ten little soldier boys went out to dine; One choked his little self and then there were Nine. Nine little soldier boys sat up very late; One overslept himself and then there were Eight. Eight little soldier boys travelling in Devon; One said he’d stay there and then there were Seven. Seven little soldier boys chopping up sticks; One chopped himself in halves and then there were Six. Six little soldier boys playing with a hive; A bumble bee stung one and then there were Five. Five little soldier boys going in for law; One got in Chancery and then there were Four. Four little soldier boys going out to sea; A red herring swallowed one and then there were Three. Three little soldier boys walking in the Zoo; A big bear hugged one and then there were Two. Two little soldier boys sitting in the sun; One got frizzled up and then there was One. He went and hanged himself and then there were None.
Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.
People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people.
One can survive everything nowadays, except death, and live down anything except a good reputation.
No, madam, ’tis not so well that I am poor, though many of the rich are damned.
Misery makes sport to mock itself.
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
Jesters do oft prove prophets.
It’s only the good die young.
It’s odd, isn’t it, why farce so often seems to get mixed up with tragedy?
