Rule one: the first impression you make is the most important. If they don’t like you the first time, they’ll never go back to see you a second time. You’ve got to be ready.
When you get there, there is no there…
Vanity is the devil’s mirror.
They had lied. Time was not a friend that healed all wounds; it was the enemy that ravaged and murdered youth.
The key to an entertainer’s success is personality. You can’t buy it and you can’t fake it. You have to be born with it.
Only in this life you made your own miracles, because God was busy elsewhere.
Old soldiers don’t die—they just fade away.
Liquor is the blood of the Devil, and tobacco is his breath, and fornication is his pleasure.
It was always the little people who could smell a success even before it happened.
If you would seek to find yourself Look not in a mirror For there is but a shadow there, A stranger…[SILENIUS, Odes to Truth]
If it’s going to happen, it’ll happen. Fate will find you. You don’t have to go looking for it.
But a comedian was naked. His only weapon was his wit.