When I was 14, I was crowned False Spring Queen. We had this whole ceremony with my Snow Scout troupe at the top of a mountain. They did a little dance around a pole. It’s where I discovered my love of pole dancing. Then, on the way back down the mountain, we stayed in a cave full of hibernating bears. Which, incidentally, is when I discovered my great love of fur.
I’m going to need a little while to figure out what to wear. It’s not “in” to burn down a secret headquarters without wearing a fashionable outfit.
Starving people can’t eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, then they won’t be poor anymore, and we won’t have anyone to feel sorry for.
It’s not my fault, darling, you know I hate to read.[Count Olaf: We must’ve made a wrong turn at that fork. Somebody read the map wrong.]