The best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still gonna think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.[to Juno]
You should’ve gone to China. You know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events.[to Vanessa and Mark]
She inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap, coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.”[about her mother]
I hate it when adults use the term “sexually active.” What does it even mean? That I like deactivate someday or is this some sort of permanent state of being?