Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
The day s*** is worth money, poor people will be born without an a**hole.[El día en que la mierda tenga algún valor los pobres nacerán sin culo.]
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
You’ve got about as much charm as a dead slug.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
