Life’s hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.
I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
If you love something set it free, but don’t be surprised if it comes back with herpes.
Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
What is Grand is necessarily obscure to Weak men. That which can be made Explicit to the idiot is not worth my care.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.