The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
So, please, oh please, we beg, we pray, go throw your TV set away, and in its place you can install, a lovely bookcase on the wall.
So many books, so little time.
Proud Wellington, with eagle beak so curled, that nose, the hook where he suspends the world!
People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it’s impossible to count them accurately.
One cannot do humour without a great sympathy for one’s fellow man.
Nowadays humour and a fine style have disappeared, and abuse is accepted as wit.[Ныне юмор и хороший слог исчезают и ругательства заместо остроты принимаются.]
Jokes of the proper kind, properly told, can do more to enlighten questions of politics, philosophy, and literature than any number of dull arguments.
In the end, everything is a gag.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.