I’m number one on your speed dial, right next to your weed dealer.
I’m a lawyer, not a criminal.
I took that job because it was the right decision. A steady paycheck, done. A place to live that’s more than, oh, 5 square feet, boom. A car that’s all one color, nailed it. I’m good. I got what I wanted.
Got to look successful to be successful.
Criminals have no recourse.
A good magician never reveals his secrets.
You wanna be a filmmaker, grow a pair.
You know why God made snakes before he made lawyers? He needed the practice.
Whoa, whoa. Hold up. What the hell happened to you? I get it, the first rule of Fight Club, right?
What’s the difference between a tick and a lawyer? The tick falls off when you’re dead! Bam!
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 60? “Your Honor.”
Wave bye-bye to your cash cow, ’cause it’s leaving the pasture.