Maybe everyone’s a little bit ugly. Maybe we’re all just ugly, dying sacks of s***, and maybe all it’ll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.
When I get back home, I’m gonna show Sarah how much I care about her every single day. Whenever she wants, she’s thirsty or whatever, she can drink my spit, and then she can ride my gas to wherever she wants to go.
If my best friend keeps his farts from me, what else is he hiding from me? And why does that thought make me feel so alone?
I don’t know exactly what masturbation is or how it works, but I guess it probably feels a lot like the wind in your hair or driving really fast in a car or taking a bite out of your favorite food or dancing with your friends or singing your favorite song or riding the bus or looking out of windows. Now, why would you ever say no to that?
My name’s Manny, and this is my best friend Hank. I used to be dead, but then he brought me back to life, and we were lost out there in the woods for a very long time, but we survived, because I have special powers.
Hank, when I masturbate, I’m gonna think about your mom.
Girls must be so nice if they let guys do all those things to them.
