Time is relative to your experience.
This is like “The Game.” I’m Michael Douglas!
The universe is trying to f*** with me, and I refuse to engage.
The universe finally found something worse than death. Being my mother.
Oh my God. Seriously? Come on. No, I did not kill somebody. If I killed somebody, I’d play it cool, move to Mexico, start a band.[John Reyes: Did you kill someone?]
Men don’t make women pregnant, sperm are weak. They only get the job done when the egg beams them up to the Federation Starship and then you make a baby.
Legs are the bicycles on the ride of life.
Inexplicable things happening is my entire modus operandi.
I mean, I smoke, what, like, two packs a day. I have the internal organs of a man twice my age. If I make it to my low 70s, I’ll be shocked.
Good things come to those who can’t wait.
Fun is for suckers, Max. Two minutes ago, I turned 36. Staring down the barrel of my own mortality always beats fun.
