It’s my bad attitude that keeps me young.
Look, I got bigger fish to fry, okay? I got to figure out how to get down the stairs.
You’re supposed to ask people about their kids. Okay? It’s polite. It gives everybody a moment to pretend there’s gonna be a future.
With the amount of guilt, I’m surprised you’re not a Jew.[to Alan]
What do time and morality have in common? Relativity. They’re both relative to your experience.
We Vulvokovs exist in the sweet spot where paranoia meets hyperinflation.
That’s my drug dealer. I gotta take this.
Sometimes Hail Marys are the best Marys we’ve got.
Sexualizing self-hatred is the hallmark of any relationship that begins with extra-marital infidelity.
Religion is dumb as f***, all right? It’s racist. It’s sexist. There’s no money in it… anymore. Who needs it?
Men don’t make women pregnant, sperm are weak. They only get the job done when the egg beams them up to the Federation Starship and then you make a baby.
Life is like a box of timelines.
