Beetlejuice Quotes

You’ve got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.

Why don’t they tell us something? Where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?[Barbara Maitland]Maybe this is heaven.[Adam Maitland]In heaven there wouldn’t be dust on everything.[Barbara Maitland]

What’s your name?[Lydia Deetz]Well, uh, I can’t tell you.[Beetlejuice]Why not?[Lydia Deetz]Because if I tell you, you tell your friends, your friends are calling me on the horn all the time. I’ve gotta show up at shopping centers for openings, sign autographs, and s*** like that. And it makes my life a hell, okay? A living hell.[Beetlejuice]

What’s wrong?[Juno]We’re very unhappy.[Barbara Maitland]What did you expect? You’re dead.[Juno]

What’s the good of being a ghost if you can’t frighten people away?

What are your qualifications?[Adam Maitland]Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I’m a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague, and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen The Exorcist about 167 times and it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it! Not to mention the fact that you’re talking to a dead guy! Now, what do you think?! You think I’m qualified?[Beetlejuice]

Well, how is it that you see us and nobody else can?[Adam Maitland]Well, I read through that Handbook for the Recently Deceased. It says, “Live people ignore the strange and unusual.” I myself am strange and unusual.[Lydia Deetz]

They’re dead. It’s a little late to be neurotic.[to Lydia]

Never trust the living.

Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.

Go ahead, make my millennium.

Coach?[Football Player]What?[Juno]I don’t think we survived that crash.[Football Player[/mqqi[mqqi]sarcastically] How did you guess?[Juno]