We’ve chosen to work in a masculine, paramilitary, patriarchal culture. Let’s not let it beat us.[to Danielle]
Most human emotions exist on a kind of continuum. People talk about lack of empathy, but we all have limits to our empathy.
I used to think that there was a black hole inside me that nothing could fill. Then I had a daughter. I remember the first time that I put her to sleep. I was standing, holding her in my arms, rocking her. I was looking at her all the time. She was looking up at me. I began to feel that she trusted me, that she felt safe. She must have done because her eyelids started closing little by little, and then she was asleep. That’s a good memory.
I thought death would be too easy for you, too easy an escape. And I didn’t want you to cheat the system. And I still don’t. I want you to be punished for the crimes that you’ve committed. Rose Stagg was so right about you. She saw right through you, your infantile desire to have a captive and captivated audience. You just want to be noticed, you want to be the centre of attention, to have special treatment, to make your mark. But it’s all just a performance. All of it. You perform for me, for your solicitor, your doctors, your nurse, your psychiatrist, even your family. It’s all just one big performance as protection against the dreaded black hole of your heart. Well, guess what, Paul, it’s time to grow up. It’s time to take responsibility for what you’ve done. Let’s stop this pathetic charade.
For the most part, people feel safe. They forget to turn the alarm on, leave windows open, patio doors. I didn’t want anyone to feel safe. Why should they have that luxury?
We all have those voices in our heads, that tell us we’re a disappointment, that tell us our work is insignificant. That it’s not good enough, it takes too long, it’s too hard. But when times are tough, we need tough dreams. But real dreams, not lies.[to Katie]