First thing I got to do is see a guy about a book. Must be some spell I can say to undo all this. The other first thing I got to do is some cardio, ’cause my heart is jackhammering like a quarterback on prom night.
Last time I was here with a girl, I was hopin’ to get laid. Didn’t quite work out that way. I did cut my own hand off with a chainsaw, though. It was a fun weekend.
I’ve always wanted to spend time in the city so nice, they named it Jacksonville.
Yes, I’m upset. Yes, I’m behind the wheel. Yes, I’m drunk. And maybe my license isn’t the fancy kind from the DMV. But at least I’m drunk!
With all due respect, your tiny brain is a lot safer without my problems inside it.
We gave peace a chance. Now it’s time for war.
Trust me, once you get jacked in the face, it’ll all click. I can’t even get my nut up to rumble unless I’ve had a good shot to the chin.
Poor Ruby, I’m melting. Fuck off b**ch![watching Ruby dying]
Once again I saved the world. Now it’s time to get the girl.[singing]
Most people go through life thinkin’ they’re totally safe. People like us, we know the truth. Life is hard and dangerous, and sometimes you just gotta chop off somebody’s head to survive.
Mommy shoulda’ taught you to knock.
Let’s get one thing straight, yo-yos. I kill demons, not people. Unless those people are demons, who look like people. And then I kill people, but they’re not really people, they’re demons. You understand?
