I act as if I don’t care if people dislike me. Deep down, I secretly enjoy it.
You remind me of my brother, sans the desire to strangle him every waking moment.[to Eugene]
You must be the self-appointed Queen Bee. Interesting thing about bees. Pull out their stingers, and they drop dead.[to Bianca]
This is far too unique to wear to something like class. I suggest we wait for a more special occasion, like a funeral.[to Enid, about the snood]
The only person who gets to torture my brother is me.
Terrible. Everyone would know I failed to get the job done.[Darling, we aren’t the ones who got you expelled. That boy’s family was going to file attempted murder charges. How would that have looked on your record?]
Please, flattery will get you nowhere.[Tyler Galpin: You’re like a cockroach.]
People like me and you, we’re different. We’re original thinkers, intrepid outliers in this vast cesspool of adolescence. We don’t need these inane rites of passage to validate who we are. [to Eugene]
If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance I’m just enjoying myself.[to Eugene]
I’m not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded schools, run by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism.
I know I’m stubborn, single-minded and obsessive. But those are all traits of great writers. Yes, and serial killers. [to Thing]
Every day is all about me. This one just comes with cake and a bad song.[Tyler Galpin: Don’t you like a day that’s all about you?]
