Life is an endless series of train wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.
Love is a beautiful thing. When you find it, the whole world tastes like daffodil daydream. So you gotta hold on to love. Tight! And never let go. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, got it? Or else the whole world tastes like Mama June after hot yoga.
It’s a big house. It’s funny that I only ever see 2 of you. It’s almost like, the studio couldn’t afford another X-Men.
I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. They made 3 of those movies. At some point, you’d have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.
Threats hurt, Jer. Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel.
I never carry a wallet while I’m working. Ruins the lines of my suit.
I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can’t tell you, but it does rhyme with “Pulverine”. And lemme tell you, he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down unda’.
I don’t take the s***s, I just disturb them.
Here’s the problem with round-the-clock torture, is that you can’t really step it up from there.
Daddy needs to express some rage.
Cancer’s only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All things I can live without.
You bet on me to die. Wow. Motherf*****, you’re the world’s worst friend. Well, joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. And then die. At the city of Detroit.
