I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. They made 3 of those movies. At some point, you’d have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.
You’re probably thinking, “My boyfriend said this was a superhero movie but that guy in the red suit just turned that other guy into a f*****g kebab.” Well, I may be super. But I’m no hero.
It’s a big house. It’s funny that I only ever see 2 of you. It’s almost like, the studio couldn’t afford another X-Men.
I know, right? Whose balls did I have to fondle to get my very own movie? I can’t tell you, but it does rhyme with “Pulverine”. And lemme tell you, he’s got a nice pair of smooth criminals down unda’.
You bet on me to die. Wow. Motherf*****, you’re the world’s worst friend. Well, joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. And then die. At the city of Detroit.