When life ends up breathtakingly f*****, you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. The one that sent you down the road to S***sburg.
I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn’t having it. They made 3 of those movies. At some point, you’d have to wonder if he’s just a bad parent.
Looks are everything! Ever heard David Beckham speak? It’s like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?
Even look in her general direction again and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots, too. That came out wrong. Or did it?
You bet on me to die. Wow. Motherf*****, you’re the world’s worst friend. Well, joke’s on you. I’m living to 102. And then die. At the city of Detroit.