Not often a dude ruins your face, skullstomps your sanity, grabs your future baby mama and personally sees to 4 of your 5 s***tiest moments. Let’s just say it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Looks are everything! Ever heard David Beckham speak? It’s like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?
Let’s pro/con this superhero thing. Pro: they pull down a gaggle of ass, local dry cleaning discounts, lucrative film deals, both origin stories and larger, ensemble team movies. Con: they’re all lame- ass teacher’s pets!
I don’t take the s***s, I just disturb them.
House blowing up builds character.
Even look in her general direction again and you will learn in the worst of ways that I have some hard spots, too. That came out wrong. Or did it?
You’re still here. It’s over! Go home! Oh, you’re expecting a teaser for Deadpool 2. Well, we don’t have that kind of money. What were you expecting, Sam Jackson’ll show up? Eye patch? Saucy leather number? Go, go.
You gotta do something to remedy this, ’cause as of now, you only have one course of action. Star in horror films.
When it comes time to licking wounds, there’s no place like home.
Time to make the chimi-f*****g-changas.
If wearing superhero tights means sparing psychopaths then maybe I wasn’t meant to wear them.
If I never see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And also, there’s about 116 kilos of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment, right next to the cure for blindness. Good luck.