Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season ‘til we were grateful it ended!
At the Christmas tree lot, there was mistletoe, and she kissed me under it in public. Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show.
When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.
I’m exceedingly smart. I graduated college at fourteen. While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a Ph.D. Penicillin can’t take this away.
I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day I can see my ears.
I can’t be impossible; I exist! I think what you meant to say is, ‘I give up; he’s improbable.’
