All right, look if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are for.
If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
You know what the scariest part is? What if there’s only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that’s it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman… for her.
Sounds like a date to me.[Monica Geller: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.]
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I think, for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, you know? I mean, it’s like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.