All right, look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are for.[to Ross]
If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.[to Rachel]
What you guys don’t understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
This guy says “hello,” I wanna kill myself.[Ross Geller: Hi.]
You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.[to Jill]
You know what the scariest part is? What if there’s only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that’s it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman… for her.
You gotta stop staring at the door. It’s like a watched pot, you know? If you keep looking at it, then the door is to… never gonna boil.[to Chandler]
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Who’s FICA? Why’s he getting all my money?[looking at her first paycheck]
What the hell are you doing, you scared the crap out of me!
Well, you know, these people are pros. They know what they’re doing. They take their time. They get the job done.[Joey Tribbiani: Your folks are really that bad, huh?]
Well, no, although I did have an imaginary friend, who… my parents actually preferred.[Monica Geller: You’re an only child, right? You don’t have any of this.]
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