Ross Geller Quotes

You know what the scariest part is? What if there’s only one woman for everybody, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman, and that’s it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman… for her.

What the hell are you doing, you scared the crap out of me!

Well, you know, these people are pros. They know what they’re doing. They take their time. They get the job done.[Joey Tribbiani: Your folks are really that bad, huh?]

You’re gonna have to understand that you’re with a guy who’s not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we’re gonna end up together. And if that scares you, tough, because you’re gonna have to deal with that.[to Rachel]

You’re a doctor of gums. That’s the smallest body part you can major in. It’s like day one, floss. Day two, here’s your diploma.[to Russ]

What? You’re over me? When were you… under me?[to Rachel]

What is wrong?[Phoebe Buffay]My marriage, I think my marriage is kind of over.[Ross Geller]Oh no! Why?[Phoebe Buffay]Because Carol’s a lesbian. And… and I’m not one. And apparently it’s not a mix and match situation.[Ross Geller]

[Ross and Phoebe are kissing]Wait, wait, wait.[Ross Geller]What?[Phoebe Buffay]My foot is stuck in the pocket.[Ross Geller]What?[Phoebe Buffay]No, I can’t get it out.[Ross Geller]Well, that’s not something a girl wants to hear.[Phoebe Buffay]Come on, don’t start. Ouch![Ross Geller]What?[Phoebe Buffay]Stupid balls are in the way.[Ross Geller]

That’s funny. Really? I don’t remember you making any sperm.[Susan: It’s my baby, too.]

Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? And what if it doesn’t come out right Pheebs? Then it’s like, I don’t know, having a bad hair cut all the time. Why’s everyone staring at me?[about tattoos]

She’s not Rachel.[Chandler Bing: Okay, let’s do Julie. What’s wrong with her?]

Okay, well, Janice said “Hi, do I look fat today?” And I looked at her…[Chandler Bing]Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her? You never look. You just answer. It’s like a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?[Ross Geller]Nooo![Rachel Green]And it works both ways.[Ross Geller]