I know you better than anyone.
I’m ready to wallow now.
I’m going to be so cool in there you will mistake me for Shaft.
Yeah, you do know honey, that garbage doesn’t actually talk at all unless it’s on Sesame Street.[to Rory]
What are you, I mean, I thought you were in the Congo or Philadelphia or something.[to Rachel]
Well, we like our internet slow, okay? We can turn it on, walk around, dance, make a sandwich. With DSL, there’s no dancing, no walking, and we’d starve. It’d be all work and no play. Have you not seen “The Shining”, Mom?
Well, not everyone is cut out to be their own boss. Maybe you are more of a worker bee, a follower, a ticket ripper, or the man at the concert with the orange glow stick directing you were to park.[to Lorelai]
We’re picking out paint colors tonight so it’s going to be hours of “yes,” “no,” “yes,” “no,” “yes,” “no,” until my world-famous perseverence wears him down and he winds up in a ball on the floor crying like a girl. Wanna come watch?[to Rory]
Watch now on:
Unbelievable! She’s been here five minutes and already has a date. I’ve been going to this school for nine years and I’m the french soda monitor.
Tradition is a trap, it allows people to stick their head in the sand. Everything that passed was so quaint, so charming. Times were simpler. Kids didn’t have sex. Neighbors knew each other. It’s a freaking fairy tale. Things sucked then too. It just sucked without indoor plumbing.
This isn’t Amish country. Girls and boys usually date alone.
This is the last time I ever buy anything just because it’s furry.[talking about clock]