I’ve had every kind of treatment over the years. Death is the last immersive experience I haven’t tried.[to Greg]
What you doing?[Timothy Ratliff]I’m praying for Piper to be miserable in that temple tonight. Maybe Jesus will save her from those Buddhists.[Victoria Ratliff]
I’d hate to be a man, honestly. It’d just be so lonely. I mean, they’re so competitive. It’s like, can they even be friends with each other?[to Harper]
I feel sorry for men, you know. It’s like… they think they’re out there doing something really important. But really they’re just wandering alone.[to Harper]
I don’t even have my Lorazepam. I’m gonna have to drink myself to sleep.
How was the cruise?[Armond]Not good.[Dillon]Great.[Armond]Actually, it was a s*** show. They’re f***ing pissed.[Dillon]Perfect.[Armond]
He thinks we ruined his honeymoon? F*** him! I will ruin his honeymoon.[to Dillon]
Girls always complain that guys aren’t nice, but then if they find a nice guy, they’re not always interested.[to Portia]
Flirting is one of the pleasures of life.
Everyone run from pain towards the pleasure. But when they get there, only to find more pain. You cannot outrun pain.
Even evil things shouldn’t be treated like s***. It’s only gonna make them more evil.
Don’t spend your life chasing emotionally unavailable men. Or you’ll spend your whole life just banging your head against a wall.[to Portia]
