Hey, it’s Hannah. Hannah Baker. Don’t adjust your… whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape, you’re one of the reasons why.
The truth isn’t always the most exciting version of things, or the best or the worst. It’s somewhere in between. But it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains.
The way I see it, there are two different kinds of death. If you’re lucky, you live a long life and one day your body stops working and it’s over. But if you’re not lucky, you die a little bit, over and over, until you realize it’s too late.
Chaos theory isn’t exactly about chaos. It’s about how a tiny change in a big system can affect everything.
Sometimes things just happen to you. They just happen. You can’t help it. But it’s what you do next that counts. Not what happens but what you decide to do about it.
Losing a good friend is never easy, especially when you don’t understand why you lost them in the first place.
It seemed like no matter what I did, I kept letting people down. I started thinking how everyone’s lives would be better without me.
Clay, Helmet, your name does not belong on this list. But you need to be here if I’m going to tell my story. If I’m going to explain why I did what I did. Because you aren’t every other guy. You’re different. You’re good and kind and decent. And I didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. I never would. I would have ruined you. It wasn’t you. It was me, and everything that’s happened to me.