The world is not black and white. It’s gray.[to Lindsay]
The dance is tomorrow. She’s a cheerleader. You’ve seen Star Wars 27 times. Do the math.[to Sam, about Cindy]
She’s not evil, Mom. She’s just different. She doesn’t wear frilly dresses or prance around like a cheerleader. Just because a girl speaks her mind doesn’t mean she’s a psycho.[about Kim]
She’s hanging around with the wrong crowd. They’re lying and cheating, and, next thing you know, she’s Patty Hearst, and she’s got a gun to our head.[about Lindsay]
Sam, you want some advice? Be a man.[to Sam]
Sam, you have a beautiful body. You’re an adonis, a slab of beef. If I wasn’t your sister… Oh, my God.[Jean Weir: Lindsay, just say the words. It’ll make him feel better.]
Rock ‘n’ roll don’t come from your brain. It comes from your crotch.
Rich people traditionally give out the cheapest candy. It’s how they stay rich.
No, thank you. I prefer to get high on life.[Kevin Handleman: Beer here!]
My mom says that women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.[Neal Schweiber]But you’re not very funny.[Bill Haverchuck]Screw you. I’m hilarious.[Neal Schweiber]
My dad has a rule: You don’t fight girls.[Sam Weir]My dad has a rule: You don’t piss your pants at school.[Neal Schweiber]
My dad always tells me that the prettiest girls usually don’t get asked out because guys are too afraid to ask them.[Sam Weir]Really? Maybe I should ask out Farrah Fawcett-Majors.[Bill Haverchuck]Hey, maybe I should ask out Bill’s mom.[Neal Schweiber]You better not.[Bill Haverchuck]