Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and cruel. You have to pick your friends as if there’s a war going on. You want a husband who’ll take a bullet for you, not one who points to the attic and says “They’re up there.”[to Midge]
Sometimes I tune people out, but mostly because they rarely have anything useful or interesting to say.
Just because there is a door does not mean you use it. A door does not represent infinite possibilities.
All right, everybody. Time’s up. Put your papers on my desk if they contain the correct answers. Otherwise, just don’t.[to his students]
You know, I woke up several times in the night thinking I’d imagined what I saw. Maybe someone slipped something into my drink. Lysergic acid. That’s a drug that makes you hallucinate. See colors, monsters, daughters saying horrible things on a showroom stage in front of a thousand people. It’s impossible, what I saw.[to Midge]
Miriam, I have to go. I just heard the words “potato salad.” There’s only so much a man can take in his own house.
It’s awfully quick, your courtship. Anything I should know that will certainly kill her mother?[to Benjamin]
If you ever threaten my daughter again, I will punch you right in the nose. It won’t hurt. I’m not strong. But, at the very least, you will be embarrassed that you got punched in the nose by a not-strong mathematician. You really want to mess with me? Go ahead. Take your best shot. And then you will find out what Abe Weissman is truly made of.