I don’t mind being alone. I just do not want to be insignificant.
No one needs a good laugh like the truly, deeply f***ed.
Did I die?[after listening to the recording of her snoring, which stops abruptly]
Spontaneity works until it doesn’t work. Then you’re stuck.[to Midge]
I stay here. And I sweat. And I smell like a bum. And I’m miserable, and I want to kill people. And I do that till it gets cold.[Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel: What do you do for the summer?]
God understands show business. He invented it.
You’re a star, for now, but she is gonna be a goddamn legend.[to Sophie, about Midge]
You sing?[Susie Myerson]You know I sing.[Tess Dooley]When did I ever hear you sing? [Susie Myerson]In all the school plays. Don’t you remember me doing The Band Wagon in high school?[Tess Dooley]I remember you doing the band back in high school, but not you singing.[Susie Myerson]
You don’t take my calls, you won’t call me back. What are we, married?[to David]
Why do Jews do this to themselves? Why do they find terrible places and go live there? “Hey, here’s a piece of the desert surrounded by people who hate us. Where do I sign?”
Okay, news flash. This is show business, lady.[Susie Myerson]You lied to me.[Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel]That’s show business, too.[Susie Myerson]
Of course I’ve worn a dress. I was a baby once. You know, helpless.[to Midge]