I don’t mind being alone. I just do not want to be insignificant.
No one needs a good laugh like the truly, deeply f***ed.
Spontaneity works until it doesn’t work. Then you’re stuck.[to Midge]
I stay here. And I sweat. And I smell like a bum. And I’m miserable, and I want to kill people. And I do that till it gets cold.[Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel: What do you do for the summer?]
Did I die?[after listening to the recording of her snoring, which stops abruptly]
I got up at 9:30. In the morning. You know the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning? It was the last time I stayed out all night and got home at 9:30 in the morning.[to Midge]
Hey, she stole my childhood. I think we’re even.[Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel: You stole your mother’s car?]
God understands show business. He invented it.
Everyone in this idiotic business is an idiot. You ever meet someone in show business who’s not an idiot, then they’re an a**hole. It’s a business of idiots and a**holes.
Big room is just more people to fall in love with you.[to Midge]
