I got up at 9:30. In the morning. You know the last time I was up at 9:30 in the morning? It was the last time I stayed out all night and got home at 9:30 in the morning.[to Midge]
Hey, should I get a secretary? Harry has three secretaries. That’s when you know you made it, when there’re three dumpy broads sitting outside your office that know all your s***.[to Midge]
Hey, she stole my childhood. I think we’re even.[Miriam ‘Midge’ Maisel: You stole your mother’s car?]
Everyone in this idiotic business is an idiot. You ever meet someone in show business who’s not an idiot, then they’re an a**hole. It’s a business of idiots and a**holes.