Don’t threaten me, Gerri. I don’t have time to jerk off.
It’s all about the morsels, man. Feed me the f***ing tasty morsels. Keep me interested. That is where we’re headed. Tasty morsels from groovy hubs.[to Lawrence]
Is this one of those things that need a woman to explain to me why it’s bad?
He said that to be nice. What I think he meant to say was that he wished that Mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful.[to Kendall, about Logan]
He can do whatever the f*** he likes. He’s like a human Saudi Arabia.[about Logan]
Everything is high risk if you’re a p***y.
You wanna f*** Dad, you wanna f*** Tom. I’m the only one who wants to set up a business as a business, and doesn’t wanna f*** anyone.[to Kendall and Shiv]
Scottish kicky-ball? It looks like two eunuchs trying to f*** a letterbox.
Let’s just enjoy this sham marriage and the death of romance. It’s gonna be great.[to Shiv, about Connor’s wedding]
If I cringe any harder, I might become a fossil.
He likes me. People like me. I look like a matador and everyone wants to f*** me.[to Kendall, about Lawrence]
