Everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it’s all just bulls***. But I guess you gotta mess up to figure things out, right?[to Robin]
Thank you. For giving my head the biggest thump of its life two years ago. I needed it. It’s changed my life. And now I’m crawling forward. Slowly.[to Nancy]
I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend, but turns out I’m actually a pretty damn good babysitter.[to Nancy]
Remember the dream I told you about? About the Winnebago? About seeing the country with my six little nuggets? It’s all true. Every last word. But I left one part out. It’s the most important part. You’re there. You’ve always been there.[to Nancy]
It’s Fabergé Organics. Use the shampoo and the conditioner, and when your hair’s damp – it’s not wet, okay? When it’s damp, do four puffs of the Farrah Fawcett spray.[to Dustin, about his hair]
I’m stealthy, like a ninja.
Always the babysitter. Always the goddamn babysitter!
