You like cool movies and music and stuff, but only for you. You want to be the smart one who likes cool stuff, and you don’t want your girlfriend to like cool stuff. Do you know how uncool that is?![to Michael Trent]
We killed two people. I could get the clink for life or the electric chair. God. That’s like a tanning bed but for criminals.[to the Creature]
They kept saying, “Time heals all wounds.” But that’s a lie. Time is the wound.
It’s a waste of time to try and fix a boy. It’s better to just accept a guy’s flaws.
You have to show guys you love them instead of telling them.[to the Creature]
You have no idea how scary this is. You don’t have to worry about anything because your mom’s already been murdered.[to Lisa]
People are so afraid of death because they don’t know when it’s gonna happen to them. It could be an axe murderer, could be the flu, but they don’t know and they hate that, so I’m not afraid of death anymore. But I don’t want to die a virgin.[to the Creature]
Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, no. No, no, no, are you crying? Oh, my God. Oh, no! Goddamn it! When you cry, it smells like a hot toilet at a carnival![to the Creature]
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Maybe it could just be for looks. Like my cousin Carlene. She got a boob job. She can’t feel anything, but she still got a husband.[to the Creature]
It’s just, guys usually only want me for one thing.[Taffy Swallows]Yeah, and you just gave it out like a cheese cube from Hickory Farms.[Lisa Swallows]
Does he have more of a basketball bod or a football bod?[Taffy Swallows]He doesn’t play sports. He’s cerebral.[Lisa Swallows]He’s in a wheelchair?[Taffy Swallows]
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