They say when a parent dies, a child feels his own mortality. But when a child dies, it’s immortality that a parent loses.
Every kid dreams of being a superhero. Having powers, saving people. But no kid thinks about what it’s like to be a hero and not saving people. Truth is, not much else changes. You still hurt, you still love, you still wish and hope and fear things, and you still need people to help you with all of it. In some ways, that’s the best part.
It’s surprising to see how a young woman, just moments after having a child, can be transformed into a mother.
I think about my daughter now, and what she was spared. Sometimes I feel grateful. The doctor said she didn’t feel a thing, went straight into a coma. Then, somewhere in that blackness, she slipped off into another deeper kind. Isn’t that a beautiful way to go out, painlessly as a happy child? Trouble with dying later is you’ve already grown up. The damage is done. It’s too late.