I’m not concerned with what Miss Mackenzie thinks, I’m only concerned with Grandad. I mean, look at him. His brain went years ago. Now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.[to Rodney]
I tell you what, Raquel. If she can be in a James Bond film, so could you. No, you could. I’m serious. Look at her, she’s a dog.
I shed a tear or two, didn’t I, when Rodney got married and left home. I cried even more when he came back.
I mean, I know a lot of people are born a penny short of a shilling but in Trig’s case God added VAT.
I know a crocodile when I come face to face with one. I’ve seen enough Tarzan films![to Rodney]
I had a dizzy spell going over Tower Bridge once.[Dr. Shaheed: Do you have any trouble passing water?]
I don’t know what the younger generation is coming to. They can’t even swear without effing and blinding.
I can’t let Rodney go out with the business in his hands, can I? He’d come back with a bag of magic beans.[to Raquel]
I apologize for him, sir. It’s his religion. He’s an Orthodox tight-arse.[about Mike]
He was about as useful as a pair of sunglasses on a bloke with one ear.[about Grandad]
He mentioned your CV. How bad is that? Nice little Citroen.[to Rodney, about his future job]
He fought and died for his country… many times.[about Albert]