Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter Quotes

Leave it out, Boycie. Trying to defend Marlene’s honour? What have you got in the garden shed? A time machine?

It’s so long since Rodney had a bit on the side, he didn’t know they’d moved it.

It’s amazing, ain’t it, Trig? I’ve lived with him all these years and I thought I knew him. You know, and then something like this happens, some simple gesture, and then you suddenly realise what a 100 percent, 24 carat plonker he really is![to Trigger, about Rodney]

It don’t matter as long as it’s healthy.[Uncle Albert: If it’s a boy d’you reckon it’ll look like Rodney?]

Is there? Well, introduce it to Rodney, he’ll take it to the pictures.[Raquel: Derek, for your information there is rather an ugly rumour going around.]

If a North Korean came to live in London, he’d think that Battersea Dog’s Home was a takeaway.

I’m not surprised, when they saw you walking up the gangplank![Uncle Albert: In those days a ship’s crew was full of stress and fear.]

I’m not concerned with what Miss Mackenzie thinks, I’m only concerned with Grandad. I mean, look at him. His brain went years ago. Now his legs have gone. There’s only the middle bit of him left.[to Rodney]

[to Trigger at the bar in a yuppy club]I think we’re on a winner here, Trig, alright? Play it nice and cool, son, nice and cool. You know what I mean?[falls through bar] Drink up, Trig. Drink up, we’re leaving.

I tell you what, Raquel. If she can be in a James Bond film, so could you. No, you could. I’m serious. Look at her, she’s a dog.

I shed a tear or two, didn’t I, when Rodney got married and left home. I cried even more when he came back.

I mean, I know a lot of people are born a penny short of a shilling but in Trig’s case God added VAT.