What the hell is wrong with you? You act like you’re the first guy this ever happened to. I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad, okay? It’s a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.
Christ, you two. All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I’ll know what to name them.[to Jesse about him and Walter]
Walter never told me how lucky he was, prior to recent unfortunate events. Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers : only the very best with just a right amount of dirty.
The money laundering aspect is fairly straightforward. But I gotta tell ya, the not-telling-your-wife aspect? Most people want to know why they suddenly got rich.
If a mosquito’s buzzing around you, it bites you on the ass, you don’t go gunning for the mosquito’s attorney. You go grab a flyswatter.
Did you not plan for this contingency? Well, next time, plan for it, would you? The Starship Enterprise had a self-destruct button. I’m just saying.
You two wanna go stick your wangs in a hornet’s nest, it’s a free country, but how come I always gotta get sloppy seconds, huh?[to Jesse]