Don’t drink and drive. But if you do, call me.
That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.
Wine is for drinking, not for sellin
Most things are a good excuse for a drink.
Free food always tastes good. Free drinks even better.
Drink from the well, replenish the well.
You don’t know how to drink. Your whole generation, you drink for the wrong reasons. My generation, we drink because it’s good, because it feels better than unbuttoning your collar, because we deserve it. We drink because it’s what men do.
It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it, if it were easy.
When you’re drunk, the one thing you want to do is sit in a chair for two hours.
To live one’s entire life without having a scotch or two is really not a life worth living.
The key is to be drunk so often, you can’t tell the difference between being drunk and sober.
The best drinks have self-defining names.