Ted 2 Quotes

I think I wanna sleep on a bed made of your voice.[to Patrick Meighan]

[unrated version]I love New York.[Samantha Jackson]Yeah, there’s no bulls*** with these people.[John Bennett]Yeah, you always know who you’re dealing with in New York.[out the car window, to a group]Hello, Jews![Ted][the group says hello back]

Hey, if you guys wanna bang, me and Teddy can totally leave the room.[Tami-Lynn McCafferty]No, no, honey, honey. They’re classy. They’re not like us. They’re good people.[Ted]

[about Ted]] He’s not my property. He’s a person. He’s way more of a person than lots of other people. I mean, f***ing Steven Tyler? What the f*** is that? Some kind of weird soccer-mom looking Goonie monster?[John Bennett]Your Honor?[Shep Wild]I’ll allow it.[Judge]

Can either of you tell me who wrote The Great Gatsby?[Samantha Jackson]Judy Blume?[John Bennett]Hitler?[Ted]F. Scott Fitzgerald.[Samantha Jackson]Who’s that?[John Bennett]The author.[Samantha Jackson]Well, why are you saying “F*** him”?[John Bennett]What?[Samantha Jackson]You just said, “Eff Scott Fitzgerald.” What did Scott Fitzgerald do to you?[Ted]Yeah.[John Bennett]No, that’s his first name.[Samantha Jackson]His name’s “F*** Scott Fitzgerald”?[Ted]What? No.[Samantha Jackson]Well, then, what’s the F stand for?[John Bennett]Francis.[Samantha Jackson]No, it’s got to be F***.[Ted]It must be F***.[John Bennett]It’s got to be F***.[Ted]It has to be F***.[John Bennett]Why the hell would it be “F***”?[Samantha Jackson]Well, because otherwise, why wouldn’t he just say it?[John Bennett]Yeah, he’s hiding something. It’s F***.[Ted]Come on, read between the lines, Sam.[John Bennett]It’s F***.[Ted]That’s completely insane. You guys are idiots.[Samantha Jackson]Yeah, well, whatever. Ted Clubber Lang. Get used to it.[Ted]