The new Superman is… Jonah Hill![Comic-Con Presenter]F***![John Bennett]
When you hear the sound of thunder Don’t you get too scared Just grab your thunder buddy And say these magic words F*** you, thunder You can suck my d*ck You can’t get me thunder ‘Cause you’re just God’s farts[singing]
We just broke into Tom Brady’s house and tried to jerk him off. You’re ready to be a parent.[to Ted]
Watching other people have sеx on a TV screen, that’s just about the coolest thing a person can do.
Thanks, Blaire. Now he’s going to have to grow a mustache.[Ted]Oh, that’s going to limit my career choices.[John Bennett]Yeah, he’s going to have to be a cop or a fireman.[Ted]Oh, those are dangerous jobs.[John Bennett]
I’m already 16. OK, if I was Mormon, I’d be a grandfather by now.[to Blaire]
Hello, 911? I need the police right away. This guy took my teddy bear.[pause]Hello?
[about Ted]] He’s not my property. He’s a person. He’s way more of a person than lots of other people. I mean, f***ing Steven Tyler? What the f*** is that? Some kind of weird soccer-mom looking Goonie monster?[John Bennett]Your Honor?[Shep Wild]I’ll allow it.[Judge]
God. We watched six seconds of pοrn and it ruined our lives.[to Ted]
Do you need a lift?[Lori Collins]Oh, I’m okay. I mean, if I get raped, it’ll be my fault for what I’m wearing.[John Bennett]