I never asked to be a demon. I was just minding my own business one day and then… oh, lookie here, it’s Lucifer and the guys.
Come up with something or… or I’ll never talk to you again.[to Crowley]
Sometimes, despite everything, peace breaks out. People get tired of fighting, and pain, and death, and are willing to start all over again.
It’s not that bad when you get used to it.[Aziraphale: Well, I’ll be damned.]
Evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction. No matter how well-planned, how foolproof an evil plan, no matter how apparently successful it may seem upon the way, in the end it will founder on the rocks of iniquity and vanish.
Everyone stretches the truth a bit in memos to head office.
As methods of human communication go, the human wink is quite versatile.
You’re in trouble.[Shax]Obviously. Former Demon, hated by Heaven, loathed by Hell. How will our hero cope?[Crowley]Are you making fun of me?[Shax]Would you know if I was?[Crowley]
You think so? Well then, let’s make it worthwhile.[Muriel: I’m going to get into so much trouble.]
When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it’ll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.[to Aziraphale]
There’s only room for one of us in this lane, and it’s not you.
The lower you start, the more opportunities you have.
