What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? “Good morning, ladies.”
Some people are so far behind in the race that they actually believe they’re leading.[to Tony]
If you can’t get your friends jobs, what’s the purpose of attaining success?
Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. “I guess I’ll have to spread my legs now,” she says. “Why?” he asks. “Don’t you have a vase?”
Anthony is a c**t hair away from owning all of Northern Jersey. And I am that c**t hair.
You heard about the Chinese Godfather? He made them an offer they couldn’t understand.
That’s what being a boss is, you steer the ship the best way you know. Sometimes it’s smooth, sometimes you hit the rocks. In the meantime, you find your pleasures where you can.
My father told me, “never get old.” I should have listened to him.
Let me die now if a man can’t voice to a beautiful woman the zephyrs that are blowing through his mind.
Five hours they let me out for these funerals. I gotta spend it being maudlin?[to Tony]
Federal marshals are so far up my ass I can taste Brylcreem.
Each of us is alone in the f***ing universe.
