We have children. We will have to see each other forever. Until we are dead. And then for four to six months after.[to Joel]
Unfortunately, sometimes to make things work in a man’s world, you need a man.
This is very serious. I mean, if this gets out, every working woman will want to get paid just as much as a man to do the exact same job, and our entire civilization will collapse.[to Mike]
Then you’ll fit right into our family.[Benjamin Ettenberg: I’ve heard absolutely nothing from your father and I’m going insane.]
That’s the nice thing about the Jews. We only hijack a conversation.
Just be careful. It can break your heart.[Susie Myerson: I just love money. You know? Smells great. Feels great. It looks great.]
It’s so hard to raise kids when you’re married. It’s really hard to raise kids when you’re divorced. But it’s not that hard to raise them when their dad’s a great guy.
It’s easy to see a diamond once it’s in the window at Tiffany’s. It’s a little harder when it’s throwing up in a bucket in your office. [to Alfie]
It’s easy to quit, but don’t. Don’t quit. Don’t stop.[to Rose]
It really sucks to break up with me. No, seriously, my face is on billboards. You break up with a normal person, maybe you can’t go back to your favorite restaurant. You break up with me, you can’t use the highway.
If you’re really famous, everybody loves you. At least until the will is read.
If there’s one thing a Jewish girl knows, it’s when to see a doctor.
