Every time a man holds a baby it ends in screaming tears. And then the baby gets upset, too.
Comedy is fueled by oppression, by the lack of power, by sadness and disappointment, by abandonment and humiliation. Now, who the hell does that describe more than women? Judging by those standards, only women should be funny.
Boy, are you in the wrong family, kid.[Esther Maisel: Ah! Too much talking!]
Bald men can be attractive… with the right hat.
All comics are comics ’cause something in their lives went horribly wrong. Something went to s***.
A voice is a powerful thing. It can shine a light on something that is hiding in the dark. It can change the way people think, which can change the way people act. But it can’t do anything if you keep your mouth shut.
