You’re gay, right?[Mayor Tillman]Yeah, a little.[Charles-Haden Savage]
You’ll do anything if you think it will help your kid.[to Detective Williams]
You know, when I was a kid, and I was in the bathroom too long, my grammy would knock on the door and say, “Oliver? Would you like me to come in there and rub some Vaseline on your rectum?”
You know, I’m thinking of putting myself out there again. I mean, I slept with a murderer! That is a great story to tell on a first date.
You know, I’m such a huge fan of terrible music. How have I never heard this?[to Charles]
You get one shot at a biopic. Maybe two if you’re someone special like Marilyn Monroe or Jeffrey Dahmer.[to Charles and Mabel]
You dragged me outta bed for this?[Oliver Putnam]Most working adults are up by 8:00 a.m.[Mabel Mora]Yes, but, like, farmers.[Oliver Putnam]
I paid your bail.[Charles-Haden Savage]Yes, but when they said they didn’t take Amex, I helped you find your Visa.[Oliver Putnam]
Women who knock rarely make history.
Women love to talk to their manicurists. Happens every time I go to my manicurist.
When a person passes, we strive to remember them exactly as they were. Yet, when we think of our own legacy, there’s a quiet hope to be remembered for our best, not our mistakes, or our flops, or worse, the secrets we tried to bury.
What is that?[Marshall P. Pope]It’s Eva Longoria’s 19-in-one Multitool. At least four of the settings could kill you![Charles-Haden Savage]
