What do you mean, “alright”? They are so ugly that they even look alike.[to Mickey, about twin sisters]
What d’you think about poor old Mum then? Do you know that she was 39 when she fell for you? For the first three months of her pregnancy you were treated as an ulcer. And to this day I sometimes think the original diagnosis was correct.[to Rodney]
What a plonker![repeated line]
Well, Aida at the Met. I can’t see you playing a policewoman.[to Raquel]
We don’t pay VAT, we don’t pay income tax or national insurance. On the other hand, we don’t claim dole money, social security, supplementary benefit, do we? The government don’t give us nothing, so we don’t give the government nothing.
To keep my promise to Mum. And you never know when you might need some bone marrow.[Rodney: If I’ve always been such a let-down, why did you insist on having me around?]
The only time you ever made women jealous was the night you won the last house at bingo.[to Mickey Pearce]
Sssh! Keep your voices down! You’ll get him chucked out of here.[to Rodney, during a prison visit to Grandad]
Running away only wears out your shoes.[to Rodney]
Rodney, you know, he tried to join the police force once, it was after he failed the intelligence test to become a Unigate milkman.[to Sandra]
Oh, yes, yes, all the lads remember Marlene.[to Boycie]
Oh, come on, Roy. You didn’t lose your friends. You didn’t have any to lose in the first place.
